I'm with you
by gaarahugger
Summary: After losing the colour in her life, Hitomi struggles to learn to be happy in a grey existence. Meanwhile, Gaara is fighting his own demons. What happens when they meet again? Warning for lemons. (So you enjoy killing? Sequel)
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first chapter of the sequel of "…So you enjoy killing". I am so glad the first part was so well received and I hope the second one will be an enjoyable read. It took so much for me to write because I wanted to decide in which direction this story is heading. What you can expect from this sequel is a lot of heartache and awe moments between Gaara and Hitomi. I hope I won't confuse you too much with my writing. English is not my native language. I am going to make an alternate one shot story for Hitomi's abandonment so look on my profile every now and then. Thank you!**

 **..  
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 _ **I'm with you**_

 _ **Chapter 1**_

 _Gaara's POV – Desert Area_

I was still shaking, I was still walking but my mind was blank. All I could see was her and her broken expression; just her messed up picture, in my head. I did not know why I was feeling like this. It should have been easy. I shouldn't have cared. But for some reason the way she just…crumbled away in front of me made my…chest hurt. That's why I couldn't look at her. I _hated_ to see her like that. Why was I feeling this? What was she doing now? She surely must have left. She wouldn't just stay there…waiting for me…right?

I would sometimes have to concentrate to make sure my…siblings were still following me. It was getting dark out and we had to rest. I stopped abruptly and fell on my knees with a loud thud. They also stopped. "We rest here for tonight." I said shortly before returning to my thoughts. Her face appeared again in my mind. I recalled the time spent with her. Ever since the beginning of our relationship, she made me feel normal and less lonely. She was loyal to me and not for a second did she falter my trust in her. I am sure that is going to change. She must hate me now, even though she didn't show it. She looked absolutely crushed yet she handled it in a polite matter so to say. I expected her to attack me, yet she did not. I expected her to cut me in half, yet she did not. I expected her to curse me, yet she did not. I expected a lot of bad things to happen, yet she did nothing. She just let me leave. I could still hear her haunting cries. Thinking that I was the cause for those tears did nothing but make me feel even more terrible.

Why did I leave her there?

Because she was like me…but she also couldn't control herself. But the reason for her inability to control herself was still me. She couldn't handle it when I was bullied.

I gasped. My heart hurt and I clawed at the material over my chest. Why did it hurt so badly? And it wasn't even my shoulder that was hurting so bad. I couldn't explain it.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned with a flinch and for a moment I thought I saw long black hair, pupil less white eyes and a wide smile. But I did not. Instead I saw blonde hair, teal eyes and an almost hesitant cautious stare. "Gaara…" She said. I missed _her_ voice so much…"Come by the fire next to us. You'll get cold." My eyes actually widened a little. They never actually got so brave as to invite me to be with them, or touch me for that matter.

I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't notice they have actually lit up a fire and caught something to eat. I shifted closer to the fire a little hesitantly. It was silent for a while until we split the food in three parts. I waited for them to eat first…maybe they tampered with it. They seemed to have noticed. They both began eating and I was still questioning their intentions. I felt out of place but at the same time I didn't want to leave this spot. I wanted this to be real so badly.

"Aren't you hungry, Gaara?" Temari asked.

"I am." I said. I really was. Then out of the blue Hitomi's face made its presence in my thoughts again. Was she getting any food? Where from? All her life she received everything she wished for. And she liked animals. She wouldn't decide on hunting so suddenly.

"Then what's wrong, Gaara?"

"Why do you care?" I was becoming angry. I said that with more spite than I meant to and the discomfort could easily be read in their postures. I shook my head. "It's nothing." I tried to say as calmly as possible. "Just…taste this for me. I think it's a bit undone."

I handed her the piece of meat and looked at her. With no hesitation she took a bite. That proved everything I needed to know. She gave me the piece back not saying anything and I felt as if I have ruined that almost insignificant level of trust I gained with them when I apologized.

"You can trust us, Gaara. We don't want to hurt you." Temari said.

"We are still a family, no matter how damaged it has been until now. We should stick together." Kankuro continued. I was reminded of Hitomi's words and immediately felt bad. She also must have wanted to be a part of the family.

I was stunned into silence. "Are you saying this just because she told you that?"

They shook their heads and Temari spoke. "We are saying this because you're our little brother."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't expect any of this. And before any other thought formed in my head I felt myself being embraced by the both of them. I flinched at the contact but nonetheless let them do this. I wanted to get used to this. I _wanted_ this all along. As they were about to let me go I embraced them back. I felt awkward but I didn't want to just sit here as if I didn't care. I _did_ care. And I wanted to change. I heard them gasp in surprise and for a second I thought I shouldn't have done this, but then they held me even tighter. I closed my eyes feeling at peace.

"We're sorry too, Gaara." I heard Kankuro say.

I nodded against them and we soon parted. They each gave me a small smile of encouragement and I also hoped I did the same. We finished eating after that in a somewhat pleasant atmosphere. I almost forgot about Hitomi, but she didn't fully escape my mind. I hoped she would handle herself. I hoped she would be fine. Then I remembered that face. It's been so long since I have kissed her last. Funny. The thing I found almost repulsive at first is the thing that I want the most in this moment. She made it feel so good. Would other girls feel different? None were willing enough to try.

"Is everything alright, Gaara?" I heard Temari ask. I shook my head. "You can tell me, you know. Tell your big sister what's bothering you."

I looked at her and wondered if I should trust her. Should I open up? "Hitomi…I hope she will be alright."

"I think she will be, Gaara, but could you tell me why you left her behind? I can see her absence is affecting you. It's not too late to go back and look for her."

I shook my head. I would be selfish if I would allow myself that simple pleasure. "She couldn't come with us. The village already has a weapon."

She was silent for a moment; I thought she was done speaking. "You're not a weapon Gaara. You are a shinobi of the Sand, but not a weapon. Don't listen to what father says anymore. It wouldn't be the end of the world if you would think of yourself and bring her along."

I shook my head. "I already decided. I just want her to be alright. That is all."

She nodded. "Would you mind if I would look at your wound now? I don't want it to get infected."

"I hurt here more." I clawed at my chest and she saddened visibly, but then smiled reassuringly. She leaned in and actually kissed my forehead. I gasped. It was short but enough for the moment. It was different from Hitomi's kisses, but pleasant nonetheless.

"I will make sure to help you with that wound." She said in a happy tone.

"Are you doing this because she asked?"

"There doesn't have to be a reason for me to do this. I'm doing this because you're my little brother, but also because I had to promise to her that I would care for you. And that means no more hurting; but first the wound. Take off your shirt."

After she cleaned and patched my wound they went to sleep and I took watch. Two days later we reached the Sand and found out father had died. I did not care too much. I had other two people I hoped I would gain the full trust of.

After I handled some formalities and we gave our reports we all went to our rooms to wash and change after the long travel. The moment I closed the door to my room it was so silent my ears hurt. I looked around and felt like the room has lost its soul. I threw myself on the bed that smelled just like her and it made my heart jolt in pain again.

" _Be careful out there. And remember, after this we will go home and we'll be together. I promise. Please be alright."_

I almost smiled as I remembered her words before the exam…All she wanted was for me to be safe. She always thought more about me than herself. How selfless could she be? She motivated me more to just finish quickly so I could be here with her now…I wanted so bad for her to be here right now. I wanted to touch her, to make her mine.

The first time we had sex I felt so overwhelmed I cried afterwards and she consoled me so kindly it made me cry harder. I felt like I mattered, like I was an acceptable human being. She let me be her first man and looking back on it I didn't even deserve her. She let me willingly take her and she made it seem like it was the most absolute pleasure in the world, even if I did not stop for her to accommodate, even if she bled, as tears streaked her perfect skin. Where would I find such a devoted being to a monster such as myself? Was I even worthy?

" _Did I make you happy, Gaara?"_

When I heard her say that I was so confused. I didn't know how to react. No one cared enough to ask me if I was happy, but yet she did. I looked absentmindedly at the bed, the sheets. Her hair was so long it would hang off the bed and touch the floor. It always smelled like freshly picked flowers and pomegranate sometimes. Her skin was so soft, so impeccably white…She was pink in all the right places; especially her cheeks when I touched her breasts. Her sweet scent still lingered in the room, over a month after she had left it.

I also remembered her psychotic episodes and I would use that for keeping me in check whenever I felt the need to see her. I would have to learn to forget about her if I wanted to focus on the village and make anything in my power to help it and its villagers. But for now I would need time to forget her smile, her scent and routine.

But what I found almost impossible to forget was her all time quote for when I told her I was hurting. _"I'm with you, Gaara."_ The gaze she held when she said those words to me…her eyes were glowing and I felt like I could move mountains with her by my side. It wasn't meant to be that way unfortunately.

The difference between the nights I last spend with her and the situation I am in tonight was almost unbearable. It was one thing to always be alone, but when you have someone and that someone isn't there with you anymore, then that's when you know true despair.

That night was the loneliest night of my life.

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 _Hitomi's POV – One year after joining the Akatsuki – Akatsuki lair_

I was haunted by nightmares.

I tried to remain positive but at the end of the day all of my sadness resurfaced. I would always wake up positive, thinking that today would be the day, but in the end it didn't seem like he would come. I was haunted by thoughts of him. What was he doing now? Was he thinking of me? Was he alright, was he fed, was he still bathing in the oasis…was he still…alone?

A lot of unfortunate events happened until now. Some I don't even want to remember. My life was filled with regret. I felt like my life was passing by and there was nothing I could do to slow it down, for my love still didn't need me.

The Akatsuki kept their word. They built me a small cabin in the forest, exactly where I told them. He never came and this thought broke me with each passing day…I did my best to take care of myself as I had no choice but to wait.

I had to spend two days a week at the Akatsuki hideout. I found that acceptable enough. In this time I would go on missions and help Kakuzu on his bounty hunts. I helped him mainly because I would catch the target extremely quickly and he would knock them out. I guess you could say that I had it pretty good. I had multiple residences, I had food…but I didn't have the affection I wanted. Just…

Speaking of affection…I opened my eyes and was met with Kakuzu's face. I felt nothing. I felt empty still. Do not misunderstand, we aren't sleeping together. We don't kiss or have sex, we just cuddle at night in order for me to recharge, even though this does mostly nothing to me. It can't be compared to the luxury Gaara gave me. Not even close. I looked over his body and imagined that his tone skin was pale, that he smelled more…boyish? I sighed. He doesn't smell like Gaara, though not unpleasant. What I liked about him was that he was a bigger built than Gaara, but that was about it. It couldn't compensate though. But then his eyes were almost perfect, just a few shades darker than Gaara, and no pupils.

Kakuzu turned out to have long hair, and I was quite fond of his stitches. He seemed surprised when I wasn't appalled by his skin. He was one good looking guy…but after being with Gaara for so long no other guy seemed to suffice.

Kakuzu was really putting effort into my health. He always took care of me like the parent I never had and I was grateful for him. He is my friend. I smiled and cuddled closer into his chest, feeling his warmth. Just close your eyes and pretend…

"You're awake?" He asked. I must have woken him up. He surely was asleep before I cuddled into him.

"Mmhmm…" I said pretending to be sleepy still.

"Let's wake up."

I shook my head. "No…"

He then shifted a little and thought he gave up. I felt something hard against my hip. I groaned in annoyance. This wasn't the first time he did that. He really knew how to have it his way. I got up in a sitting position all of a sudden and looked at him with an annoyed expression on his face. He looked at me before his eyes lowered to my chest. I looked at my chest and gasped and moved out of his sight. One of my breasts was out, somehow. I wasn't as flat as a year ago.

"You're rude, you know…" I mumbled. "You know I have a problem with that."

He shrugged. "I couldn't help it." He then reached out and touched my thigh, making me flinch. He clearly saw my discomfort but wouldn't stop caressing my thigh.

"I said stop it!" I then cut his arm off. I suddenly felt numb and my mind was blank. There was nothing in there. I don't know how long I felt like that but next thing I felt was that I was shivering and that my face was wet.

I then felt myself being brought to a hard and warm chest. "It's been ten months. Try to get over it."

"It's hard…" My chest hurt. "It's so hard…You know…I kept joking about it, but I never imagined I would feel like this after it actually happened. It's my entire fault…" I sighed deeply into his chest, just wanting to disappear off of the face of the earth.

"It's not your fault." He said calmly and caressed my long hair. "Bad things just happen. You were going through some shock. You are too young for this kind of thing."

I continued to sob some more in his chest, until his shirt was soaked. "By this time…I would have…"

"Stop thinking about that. What's done is done."

He continued caressing my hair until I stopped crying. "Please never touch me like that again. The thought that something like that could lead to that same experience, that same consequence is too much for me. I can't go through that again." I raised my head to look at him. "But also…I made a vow."

"It's fine."

I gave him a weak smile. "Thank you for supporting me, Kakuzu." I caressed his cheek with my thumb, feeling in his stitches."You're a handsome man. Don't let these stitches make you lose your confidence. They make you quite manly."

"What makes you believe I'm not confident with women?"

"I don't know…The first time we met you were quite sure I would be grossed out by your body. You were wrong." I smiled faintly at him and without another word I got up and took a towel from the drawer, but also my clothes for the day. I exited the bedroom and headed towards the showers. I showered quickly and dressed up. I just wore a simple knee length black dress. By the time I returned to the bedroom Kakuzu was already dressed. I put on my Akatsuki coat and we were off.

We walked down the halls and corridors and greeted each and every member on our way out. I never got out of my way to get to know them, not even the leader. None of them reminded me of _him_. I suddenly wondered where we were going today.

"Hey Kakuzu, where is our next target located?" We walked and walked and it seemed like he didn't hear me. "Heeey Kakuzuuu! Did you hear?"

He stopped and he looked at me. "He's at the border of Sunagakure."

I also stopped walking and froze. "I can't…go there…It would be hard for me to leave…"

"I'll take you even if I have to drag you." He placed his hand on my back and pushed me forward.

We weren't very talkative on our way there. I was still fighting my demons. I never was so close to him. I wanted to go see the desert at least but couldn't. I never went past that area in the woods where my cabin was. As we reached the desert I found that taking steps on the sand was getting harder and harder as we progressed. It was truly hurtful to see, smell and feel sand under my sandals.

When we finally reached the area we were supposed to encounter our target my mind was in different places. I was no longer paying attention to Kakuzu. I knew Suna had people that were guarding this specific area. He might know of my visit here. I didn't know how to hide. I guess as soon as this is over the better.

I made sure that we would lose no time and catch the guy and immobilize him in record time. I was tense the whole time. If we were spotted by the Suna troops we could as well be ambushed by them. They could send _him_ …I shook my head and grabbed Kakuzu's arm dragging him away but not really succeeding. He was so heavy…Before I could think he threw me over his shoulder. He had the man on his other shoulder. This was hilariously ridiculous. I nonetheless held onto him for support. It had been a tiring experience going towards the Sand. I snuggled in his neck and dozed off.

I woke up in our room and it was dark out. All I could do now was to take a shower and go _home_.

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On my way to the cabin I always felt anxious. Either way my heart would stop each time he never came. I wonder how my heart would react if I saw him there, waiting for _me_. What joy must that be…

Half an hour was what it took to reach the cabin on foot from the hideout; a very anxious half an hour with numerous thoughts and scenarios and feelings.

I always left a sign hanging on my door. _The door is open. Wait for me inside if you can. If I won't come at all, try another day._

I took a deep breath before entering. Of course he wasn't inside. The cabin was furnished simply. I had a small bed, a nightstand, two couches, a table and a corner for the kitchen area. I had no bathroom. I left a bowl of fruits on the table in case Gaara decided to come by. It was undisturbed. I have framed the photo Temari gave me and placed it on the nightstand, and beside the photo frame there was the sand rose Gaara gave me. I have developed a passion for drawing and singing. As a result to this multiple paintings of Gaara were hanged on the walls to remind me of the beauty of this life. I held my song book on the table and would fill it up when I felt inspired. I wrote about love and of the sadness that it made me feel, the anger, the anguish…

I sat on the bed and looked around me for a moment. It was too quiet. I sighed painfully before throwing myself on the bed and trying to fall asleep. It would often be like this. I kept thinking of him until I fell asleep.

 _Gaara's POV – earlier that day_

One year after Hitomi wasn't around anymore I can't say I am feeling better than the first day I felt her. No matter how much I tried to dismiss her from my mind I would still have her on my mind. Not much has changed for a year, except the fact that my siblings and I have a closer bond now which I am glad for.

I am still trying to reach my goal and I am working hard to gain the trust of the village. I made almost no progress. I am still as hated and feared even though I haven't killed anybody for a long period of time and my siblings helped me when I would have a breakdown. The moon still affected me. I discovered that Hitomi helped me immensely when she was by my side in the sense that our activities calmed the demon down. Now that nothing was happening it was harder to control.

I was currently in my room resting on the bed when Temari barged in my room. She looked terrified which made me alert as well. "Temari?"

"I'll explain it on our way! There's no time!"

I jumped from my bed and followed her, slamming the door of my room as we ran. She brought me to the gates of the village. It seems like some shinobi spotted two Akatsuki members on their way to the village as they returned from their missions.

"Do you think…the Akatsuki are already making their move?"

"It's way too early." I said and I felt her hand rest on my shoulder. I looked at her reassuringly. "Either way I am ready for them. But in the meantime…" I formed a third eye in my hand and then let it fly away in the distance. After a considerable distance I finally spotted two figures. I zoomed in as much as I could. Black capes with red clouds; definitely the Akatsuki. I have only gotten a glimpse of their backs and decided to continue following them. I could only distinguish that one of them was female. A thing was clear, they weren't coming towards the village; they were just passing through. When I was about to call the whole thing of and tell Temari to relax, the smaller, thinner frame turned around. And I was stunned.

"Gaara, what's wrong?" I asked Temari ask. I guess my shock was written on my face. I signaled her to shut up.

She was almost unchanged, except for a few features. She was taller it seemed. She was looking around her and if I was not mistaken she looked towards the direction the village was situated; and then she smiled. She then hurriedly followed the taller figure. She then grabbed his hand and they continued walking like that.

I was in pain.

Why am I feeling like this? I told her it was alright for her to do this. I did, yet why am I feeling like the sky has fallen on me?

"Gaara! What-"

"Shut it, Temari!" It was when I said her name that I realized that my voice was cracking. I sighed and continued to focus on the jutsu.

They encountered an individual and in a short while they captured him. The tall figure threw the man on his shoulder with no difficulty, before she took his hand again, making me almost call out in pain, and trying to pull him away playfully. The tall man that I began to despise with passion grabbed her and threw her on his other shoulder and she did not protest one bit. She even snuggled close to him. Then they walked further away from the desert and I finally dispelled the jutsu. As soon as I did, I turned my back to Temari and gripped the cloth above my heart. This was unbearable.

Why am I feeling like this?

…

What did I expect? Even though she said she wouldn't why did she? I was just fooling myself. How could she truly want a monster like me when she could have any man she wants? But why was I expecting her to not have found another? She was now soiled by another man. I have truly lost her. Why did this knowledge hurt so much?

"Gaara, please tell me what happened. What affected you so?"

"I want to be alone, Temari." I almost growled. My sorrow was quickly turning into anger. "Where's Kankuro?! Why didn't you inform him of this?"

"We needed your third eye. He's in his room. What can you talk with him but can't talk with me?" She sounded hurt.

"You wouldn't know what to tell me. I'll come later and talk to you."

She sighed. "I'll be waiting."

In a swirl of sand I was gone and went straight to Kankuro's room. I knocked loudly but after a while I figured he wasn't there and I soon began searching for him in the mansion and found him in the kitchen drinking some tea and spoke as soon as we made eye contact, not really having the patience for anything else. "Take me to a whore house." I said with a straight face.

As soon as I said that he choked, spit his tea and needed a minute before he could respond. I was getting annoyed. "Gaara what's gotten into you?"

"It doesn't matter, just tell me!"

"You're only thirteen, chill out."

"Don't tell me to calm down, Kankuro." Again, when I said his name my voice was cracking.

"Gaara…what happened?" He got up from the table and came closer to me.

"I just need you to tell me."

"First of all calm down, you'll get a stoke. Just relax."

I turned away from him. I was going to cry. I had to flee but before I could, Kankuro brought me to his chest and held me tight. And I surrendered. "I just don't understand…why I'm hurting so much…"

"Gaara…Tell me what happened."

I slightly pushed him away giving him the sign that, that was enough. "I just can't forget about her. I can't forget Hitomi no matter how hard I try. She found someone else. I didn't know what I was expecting honestly…"

"How do you-"

"I used my third eye and saw her together with an Akatsuki member near the village."

"She's an Akatsuki now? You should be more worried about this than-!"

"I'm hurting." That shut him right off and there was a tense silence going on. "Forget I said that, but just tell me. I know you go to places like those. I feel that's the only thing that could help me…"

"Alright, Gaara. Just let me get ready."

I nodded and waited for him in the kitchen as he went upstairs. He came back down in his usual onepiece and we were out the door. He led me to the place and I followed without another word.

It seemed we reached the building. It was a building like any other, you couldn't tell what was going on inside. We enter and I felt all eyes on me. Kankuro was speaking with someone at the counter and I kept looking around at the women that hung around, skimpily dressed. Strangely enough they did nothing to me. I only wanted _her_. These girls were all used goods. But her…I threw her away…She could have been mine forever.

"Alright, Gaara. Choose one." I heard Kankuro say then looked around me. The girls were even more terrified. I felt ashamed of myself. Not because I was here, buying the services of a woman, but because I still instilled fear in these villagers. I looked at the ground and was about to pull the whole thing off. What was I thinking…

"Um…" I heard a frail voice in front of me. She was too shy to look at me. "Would I suffice?" I looked her over and she definitely appealed to me, but she was no Hitomi. She had short black hair, blue eyes and was about the same height as me. She smelled nice.

"Yes." I said. She then turned around and led me to a room. I closed it behind us. I observed her and she looked out of place, like she actually didn't want to be here. "I don't want to hurt you." I said all of a sudden, hoping she would calm down; she jumped. She sat on the bed and parted her robe and let it fall down her shoulders. I could see her shivering. It discouraged me greatly. I took a step back and was about to leave, but then I heard her.

"Please don't leave. You said I was enough…"

"You are…but you're afraid of me. I don't want to do something…you don't want."

"You will learn that not everyone here enjoys what they're doing…This is my first time here. There have been five men that requested me but…I just couldn't. If you leave too I would be kicked out and I _really_ need the money…"

"I can be patient. But I need to have you today." I walked closer to her and eventually sat on the bed with her. "I'll be gentle." I could see goose bumps on her skin. "But I won't touch you if you're scared. This can't be your first time, why are you so scared, if not because of me, a monster?"

"I've paid attention to you and I know you are trying to change. Even the fact that you're here is proof of that. Even the fact that you want me to enjoy this is enough for me to see that you're different. That is why I chose you. I see you as a person."

"I see."

"The truth is that this is my first time…and I keep having doubts because I wanted it to be special…" She said half heartedly.

"Why do you need money so desperately?"

"I don't know…to eat, to have a roof over my head, to exist?"

"Explain."

She sighed. "In brief, I am an orphan and my time at the orphanage has run out. I was released earlier than expected. I am not even eighteen yet. I didn't know where to go so I came here."

"Hn." She looked at her lap and covered herself. What if I could help her? "I could help you pay rent for a while." She looked at me, with hope glistening in her eyes. They won't shine for long. "But you will have to sleep with me whenever I want." I said. There went that shine…"You would still be a prostitute in a way, but you will only sleep with me, I think it's better than being here. I will respect you; I won't hurt you in any way. You could take a part time job as well; think about it for a moment."

"Why…do you need sex so desperately?"

I was taken aback by her question. I guess I asked her motives first so it was only natural to answer. "To forget, to release tension." Was my simple answer. "I got hurt, and want to forget. I would also rather do this with one person…because the other girls, as you have seen, are scared of me. I was about to leave before you came. So what do you say?"

I let her think about it for a moment. "I agree." She looked at her lap like she just sealed her fate to a monster, which she did.

"You have to understand that I will have you today if that's the case. I will say it again, I won't hurt you."

"I regret not doing this with someone I love." Was her answer.

"I don't understand love, so it's useless giving me this answer. It's better doing it with someone you trust than a complete stranger; that much I know. I can be your friend, I would like that. You _can_ trust me." She was silent and I noticed tears streaming down her face. "Life is unfair, I know." She then looked at me. "But it could be worse. I promise you I will take care of you."

She nodded.

I got up and walked towards the door. "Get dressed and meet me at the entrance." I said before I exited the room. I saw Kankuro talking with some girls but I went to him nonetheless and explained the situation. He gave me some money and left. The crowd of girls that were in this spot vanished as fast as Kankuro left. A while later she came to the entrance looking more out of place than before. I then realized I did not know her name, so I asked her. "Your name?"

"Arisu."

I nodded and led her out the door and out to the residential area of the city. I chose an upper class area, one where she would be safe, and chose a one room apartment for her. I would look at her every now and then and she looked drained and tired. Once we were in the residential area I wanted she looked around like she never saw anything like this before. She seemed so…pure, so innocent.

After I chose a building and after I spoke to the receptionist, we were headed to the apartment. She was still shivering and her face was pale. "When was the last time you ate?" I said and startled her.

"T-This morning. But I'm fine."

"You should eat something. What do you like?"

"I am fine, really."

As soon as we were in the apartment I called a catering service and ordered something for her. When I was done and turned around to look at her I noticed her posture. She wasn't even going deeper into the apartment. She just stood there, looking around, stunned, before looking at her feet.

"What's wrong?" I asked and she flinched.

She took a moment before responding. "It's just that…I've never been into a nice room like this. Do I really deserve this? Is it really alright?" I noticed her voice was cracking. The apartment was modernly decorated and was nice overall.

"You're not staying here for free. Enjoy your time here and please relax. Go take a bath and unwind…I think you have everything you need in there."

She nodded shortly before sprinting to the bathroom. I heard her lock the door from the inside. _Like that is going to keep me from going after her…_

I walked to the balcony and opened the door and stepped outside. I sat down and looked at the sky, at the moon. _What the hell am I doing?_ Hitomi…Why did you have to join the Akatsuki? You would have done alright on your own. Why am I so disappointed in her choice? Did I really believe she will remain untouched by another? Skin as soft as hers, that flowery scented hair, those deep eyes…she was one of a kind. The gods made her for _me_ , and now she was fucking a criminal…A criminal, eh…She wouldn't even like this new me. She wanted someone she could spill blood with. It's not about me, it never was. Just killing.

Fuck I miss her so much. Killing might be just worth it to be with her…She completed me on a level no one else did. It's just…I am trying to get away from all of that…I want to be good, I want to be accepted.

I then heard the door ring and headed there. Her food was delivered and paid for, now she only had to get out of the bathroom and eat. It wasn't long before I heard her open the bathroom door. I sat on a chair near the balcony, trying to give her space as I knew she had to get out in a towel. She got out of the bathroom and I could see it in her awkwardness that she was nervous. She just stood near the bed with her gaze glued to the ground.

"Relax." I said she then looked at me with this panicked expression. "I will not hurt you." I said not breaking eye contact with her. A fist tear fell down her cheek. I sighed. I did not know how to console her. Then I remembered Hitomi…how she consoled me when I cried. But I had to get close. I sat up and she gasped but nonetheless remained still. She returned her gaze to the ground. I walked in front of her and slowly moved to take her in my arms, bring her to my chest. I could feel her heartbeat at the contact. I then mechanically almost caressed her back, the covered part of it; her lower back. She was a bit taller than me but it was alright. I did nothing but pat her back for five minutes until she began to calm down. But when I thought it would be over and she would pull away, she put her arms around my sides and held onto me. She placed her head on my shoulder and began shaking with grief. She was sobbing with everything she had. I said nothing, just continued doing what I was doing, just waiting. Ten minutes later she let me go finally. But instead of looking at the ground she looked at me.

"Thank you." She gave me a weak smile before sitting on the edge of the bed. "I haven't cried like that since my parents died ten years ago. A lot has built in…and no one got close enough to me to console me."

I nodded. "I understand. You can tell me everything you have on your mind."

"Thanks." She sighed in relief.

"You can go ahead and eat."

"Oh, but-"

"As you probably know you are going to bleed. I don't want you to feel light headed after." She nodded and all the progress I thought I made seemed to disappear. "It's going to be alright." She gave no response and I figured I shouldn't insist any further. I noticed she ate as slow as she could, then again this could be how she normally eats. I must be over thinking. When she was finally done she got up and went to the bathroom again to brush her teeth. She was out a short while later. I began taking my clothes off and she began fidgeting. "Take off your towel." I didn't want to intimidate her, but did not know how else to say it. I just had to make her beg me once we were both in bed.

She took her towel off and revealed her perky nipples and neatly trimmed cunt. She was _definitely_ getting me in the mood. She was about to cover herself. "Don't." I said and she flinched. When the last garment was on the floor I walked up to her and pulled her in my arms. I felt her shaking. Hitomi never reacted like this so I did not know how to handle it. "It's alright." I tried to reassure her. "I promise I will worship your body." I heard her gasp and looked up at her. She somewhat stopped shaking and she actually smiled gently.

"That…I was not expecting." She said.

"I just want you to trust me. We can both enjoy ourselves."

She nodded. "Take care of me."

The next thing I did was latch my mouth on one of her breasts and caress the other one before sneaking my hand between her legs. She was beginning to dampen. I then remembered Hitomi and looked up at the girl in front of me. I needed Hitomi…I was hindered from making any other move. If she was not Hitomi this didn't feel natural.

"Can we turn off the lights?"

"Please." She said.

I gently pushed her on the bed and closed the lights before getting on top of her. I used my fingers to feel her up a little, gently. I placed my mouth on her neck to leave a few hickeys; she was _mine_ now, but as time passed my enthusiasm deflated. She did not make the sounds Hitomi made, in fact she was quiet, she smelled different, her skin was not the same…I was honestly losing my patience and figured I should just do oral on her until she would be wet enough and beg me to take her. She _tasted_ different…not in a bad way but…not like her.

She kind of resisted a little before I heard a muffled cry. "Please…"

I smirked and asked. "Please what?"

"I…think I'm ready…" Not what I was expecting but good enough.

I positioned myself in between her legs. "Try to relax. This is going to be good." I said as I played around at her entrance. In one thrust I was all the way in. I groaned in pleasure at the delightful feeling, but then I heard her gasping in discomfort. I knew I had to stay like that. "Tell me when to move." I told her. I felt her nod. "You know, I don't mind if you moan, just tell me if it feels good."

"Alright…I think I am good. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would."

I smirked. "Is it alright if I fuck you like I want?" I pulled out and pushed back in earning a moan.

"Yes, it's alright." Hitomi wasn't this reserved on our first time.

"Are you beginning to like it?" I asked.

I felt her nod. "It's good."

"You want more?"

"Yes."

"Prove it."

"W-What do I have to do?"

"Beg me to fuck you. I won't move until you do."

"But I don't…" I pulled out of her. "No, don't!"

"Don't what?"

"I want it, I really do!"

"Hm? What do you want?"

"I want it back in…"

"What exactly do you want…in?" I pushed inside her then pulled out.

"Your member."

"Good women are not proper in bed you know…Learn to talk a little dirtier. No I will say it again, what do you want me to do with your cunt?" I said as I was teasing her soft folds.

"Please fuck me…" She said as she widened her legs underneath me. I remembered Hitomi and immediately entered her and began fucking her like I would be fucking Hitomi; hard and fast. I remembered her lost expression, only focusing on the pleasure in her cunt. I remembered her moan, more like scream as I entered her every time and hit her deepest part. I remembered that there was a slight second she would look at me despite the immense pleasure, with a certain emotion I could not pin down. Her hands on my hips and ass, pushing me further inside her. The taste of her sweet mouth as she was gasping for air.

The girl underneath me was now moaning loudly, stroking my male pride. My mouth was busy sucking her neck, right on her pulse. It's been too long and I was nearing my end, and it looked like Arisu was on the same page. "Gaara! I'm going to-"

My mind was emptying and all I could think about was _her_. "Hitomi, Hitomi!" I said as I released deep inside her. Once I came down from my high I realized the mistake I made. The whole point of this was to forget Hitomi, but here I was, yelling her name with passion as I came in a girl other than her. I was suddenly overcome with grief. I wanted to cry but instead sat on top of Arisu a few more minutes.

I got off her and sat on the edge of the bed. "I…apologize…"

"You don't have to apologize to me…I understand my role…"

"It was your first time, I-"

"And I enjoyed it. You made my first time an enjoyable experience. I can live with doing this every day from now on. I am glad I was so good you lost your mind." She said with a giggle. It seems she was lost to sex. I smirked and towered on top of her.

"Then you don't mind if I have seconds, right?"

She laughed. "Please teach me, Gaara…"

What I could not do with her was kiss. I found the concept of kissing was hard even with Hitomi, but with other girls it seemed even weirder.

Arisu would be the one that would comfort me in the days to come. Her company was pleasant but she was no Hitomi. I would tell myself every day that I do not care about her anymore and try to move on with my life. Deep down I knew I was lying to myself.

 **..  
.**

 _One year and a half later_

 _Gaara's POV_

I was looking atop the village I was now leading. Who would have thought that the killing machine of two and a half years ago would have turned out like this? If I was told I would become Kazekage in those days I would have taken it as mockery and killed the said person on the spot. It would have been an insult for me. Why would I want to protect this village that since the beginning didn't accept me? It was all because of Uzumaki Naruto.

He was so alike me, yet so different. He found out the answer to conquering loneliness, and I was doing the exact opposite. I thought there would be no hope for me, why should I even try to be good since no one would see me like that? I thought I was too damaged, too deranged…But I have proven myself worthy of the position of Kazekage. I too…could change. Just as that thought hit, a wave of sorrow surrounded me. The same thing was told to me by Hitomi…She believed I could change even though she was the same as me, the same uncontrollable blood lusting demon.

It has been two years and a half since the Konoha destruction. This event makes me recall the fact that I abandoned Hitomi in the forest near Konoha. I remember like it was yesterday, her expression as I said those words, she looked as if I have killed her, as if her soul left her body in that exact moment. Then her eyes looked empty and panic settled in. I am still haunted to this day by her words as I just began walking away from her as I couldn't stand to hear her anymore. Just like in my childhood, my heart hurt.

I am sometimes wondering if what I did back there was a mistake. Life without her was, do I dare say it, flavorless. We were always together, and her absence was suffocating me. I had my siblings now but…it took some time before they would approach me truthfully. I shocked a lot of people with my change, but not all trusted my intentions. Some believed I didn't change at all but I hold no ill feelings towards those people.

Arisu held me company for about a whole year, until she was stable enough to support herself and we even ended our deal in friendly terms. I was abstinent for about five months and I was handling it surprisingly well. But on the day I was finally pronounced Kazekage, as I was taking a stroll, something surprising happened. I was approached by a girl my age. She had no stutter, no nervousness in her eyes; just pure confidence.

"Kazakage-sama, could you please walk me home. I stood outside way longer and it got dark outside."

I raised my shoulders not thinking much of it and led the girl home. Once we were there she thanked me and was about to enter her house and I turned around, ready to leave. "Gaara…" I heard her say and turned my head to look at her. I raised my brow at her. Civilians don't usually call me by my name. They don't have the guts; that and the fact that it is improper. "Would you like to come in?" The first thought I had was that she was an assassin. I looked her over. No headband. No ninja gear. She looked like a plain girl. What was she thinking?

"Excuse me, I think you're-"

"Please." She cut me right off. It was then that I saw it, that tipsy expression. The same look Hitomi would give me when she _wanted_ me. One year ago they were running away from me like I had rabies, and now this girl was throwing herself at me. I could not say no to those doe eyes. It felt good to feel…needed. I considered for a moment.

"Your parents-"

"Are not home." I turned fully towards her. "Please…" I now heard the need in her voice, the arousal. She walked in front of me and pulled me by the arm gently and by that time I gave in. She pulled me in her house and slammed the door shut. She then turned around and cornered me against a wall. Was this really alright?

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Please, just fuck me." It was then when I lost it. I pinned her against the door, raised her skirt, ripped her panties and felt her up a little. No foreplay needed; her thighs were coated heavily with her nectar. I unzipped my pants and took my cock out. I didn't need to wait, I pushed it right in. Her moan vibrated thorough the house.

That day I released all my frustrations on that girl but she didn't seem to mind much It all happened so quick, the next thing I remember was us passed down on the floor, leaning against a wall. She was currently resting her head on my shoulder. She raised her head, smiled and leaned closer to my face, ready to kiss me. I instinctively averted my gaze. She understood but I still noticed the sadness in her eyes. I never understood what this gesture meant and why everyone liked it that much.

She got up and I followed. We shared this awkward silence before she decided to speak. "Thank you." She said. "Please come by again." She then stood there until I walked towards the door. I opened the door and stepped outside and left without looking back. I was also glad she didn't expect me to care too much after that. Ever since that night every time I would look at some girls they gave me this certain look and I would experience this once every month or so. Some asked me for money afterwards and I explained to them that if they need it shouldn't have to come to me sleeping with them to get it. I helped them. Some were lonely, some were sad, some were partly intoxicated. It felt good to be needed, even if like this. I was glad they weren't afraid of me anymore. I was besotted with the thought that they looked like they _wanted_ me. But… But they were nothing special to me, just a release for my frustrations. She satisfied me on a whole other level. I _desired_ her.

A few months after that incident nothing major happened, I just tried to get used to the lifestyle of a Kage and I was glad to say it was something I would gladly do until I died. I just kept thinking…will I always feel this emptiness? The painful thing is that I _missed_ _her_ so much. Nights were excruciating. Days were the same. I did get used to it in the end but not fully. I still miss her, but I made this sacrifice for my village. She couldn't control herself. I shouldn't affiliate myself with people like her anymore. I kept reasoning with myself in order not to-

"Kazekage-sama." I was called. "The meeting is about to begin."

"Right." I said, slowly turning and following Baki to the meeting room.

 _Two days ago  
Hitomi's POV_

I opened my eyes and blinked away the blurriness. I felt warm and instantly remembered I wasn't in my cabin. It was sometimes like this. My vision stabilized and saw Kakuzu's face close to mine. Do _not_ misunderstand. This was part of our bargain. He had a father-daughter type of relationship. We would sometimes sleep like this, but most of the time I slept in the cabin by myself. I found it comforting to sleep with him. Sleeping alone was a chore after Gaara left me.

He shifted in the embrace and I smiled. He was a beautiful man. It turned out he had long black hair underneath that getup. I also liked his stitched body. I learned a lot about him in these years and I could say that from the start that he trusted me. I learned that he had a quick temper around others, but tried to remain calm around me. He never harmed me, he was even gentle.

I smiled and caressed the scars on his cheeks. He opened his beautiful eyes slowly and closed them again and took me deeper in his strong chest. Well this didn't seem too father-daughter interaction but it never went further than this and it never will. He was interested in me sometimes; he bluntly asked me if I was interested in having intercourse with him. I rejected him and he always acted polite afterwards like a true gentleman. I saw him naked once by mistake, and dare I say; he was packing. I wasn't in the slightest interested though. I learned that he was 92 years old but that didn't gross me out in the least. He looked and smelled like a twenty to thirty year old. He was just an old soul.

I truly appreciated his patience towards me as he waited for me to recover from my heartbreak. He was the one who introduced me to all the Akatsuki members and was quite possessive of me. I did my job and that was good enough. I helped Kakuzu bounty hunt and also helped the organization. I sometimes had a feeling they were hiding something from me. Hidan was also my teammate but I didn't get along with him that much, but who did?

A while later Kakuzu decided to get up and go take a shower. I waited my turn silently. I got in front of the mirror to comb my hair. I had grown over the years…in a lot of places. Not only my hair was back to its original size, but my breasts and posterior were quite protruding. I had what you would call an hourglass shape. My face also changed a little; I didn't look so childish. I caressed my curves as I looked at the mirror and smiled to myself. Gaara would _love_ to touch this body.

"Narcissistic much?" I heard Kakuzu say from the bathroom door, with a towel around his waist.

I shook my head dismissively and walked closer to him. "What is our schedule for today?" I asked.

"You can come with me today if you want." He looked like he wasn't finished speaking but stood like that for a while and I lost patience and walked to the bathroom. "Tomorrow…" He said and I looked at him. He was still pensive and had a distant look on his face and wasn't looking at me. "Tomorrow go home and don't come back for a week."

"But why?"

"It will be a training period. You don't actually need that."

"Why do I feel like you're lying to me?"

He looked at me then. "I'm not lying."

I sighed and decided to let it go. "As long as it has nothing to do with Gaara it's alright, I don't care about whatever you're hiding from me." I then went to shower.

"Just forget about him." I heard him say suddenly. I stopped and glanced at him with an angry glare. "You'll just get hurt. Forget him." He continued.

"I _can't_ do that. He is a part of me."

"He hasn't come for you in these years. He won't come."

"And what do you want me to do, love you instead?" I said and gasped. "Forget I said that. That isn't even an option."

"I am not interested in you like that, your heart has only one use to me…You're lucky I have no such plans with it."

I sighed. "You're acting weird, Kakuzu. You haven't brought him up since we met…Just forget it, alright?"

He nodded.

I finally entered the bathroom and closed the door behind me. His words stung. He would come back, he didn't forget. He's not like that. He _will_ come back. He will need me again. I chanted these words in my head over and over again trying to push my tears back.

I slid slowly down the door and my tears inevitably fell. I missed him so much…How does he look like now? How does he smell now? How…big is he now? My cheeks got hot. I missed the feeling of him thrusting inside me. I missed every part of him. Those eyes…I wanted to see him again…I don't know if I could let him go again after that. I would attach my vectors to his skull and ribs and never let him go.

After my shower was over Kakuzu was waiting for me already dressed up. I got out of the bathroom in a towel and searched through my rawer for a black dress. I retrieved it and put it on. Kakuzu was facing elsewhere; we often did this without getting shy anymore. He was respecting my boundaries and that was enough for me. I then slid a pair of panties over my long legs and finally put on my Akatsuki coat.

We left and at the end of the day he led me to the cabin. He was carrying the latest hunt on his shoulder and after he would let me off he would go to the bounty officer to collect his money. Since the beginning I made it clear that I wasn't interested in the money so we didn't split it. Once we were in front of the door of my house he once again reminded me to not come for a whole week to the lair before leaving. Too bad I wasn't going to listen to him now. I felt it in my gut that he was hiding something from me. I turned around and looked at my door. I smiled.

I always left a sign hanging on my door. "The door is open. Wait for me inside if you can. If I won't come at all, try another day."

I took a deep breath before entering. Of course he wasn't inside. The cabin was furnished simply. I had a small bed, a nightstand, two couches, a table and a corner for the kitchen area. I had no bathroom. I left a bowl of fruits on the table in case Gaara decided to come by. It was undisturbed. I have framed the photo Temari gave me and placed it on the nightstand, and beside the photo frame there was the sand rose Gaara gave me. I have developed a passion for drawing and singing. As a result to this multiple paintings of Gaara were hanged on the walls to remind me of the beauty of this life. I held my song book on the table and would fill it up when I felt inspired. I wrote about love and of the sadness that it made me feel, the anger, the anguish…

I have developed a deep bond with the forest and its animals. On my nightstand, in a round bowl, I kept a female praying mantis. I had to go out and hunt something for it to eat. I went out and began moving the grass with my feet, making diverse insects fly away. I spotted a medium katydid and easily caught it and brought it inside. I placed it next to the mantis and sat down on the bed to watch. I always found it so interesting how these small creatures eat. It didn't take long before the mantis snatched the insect and began devouring it alive. She was almost adult sized and thought about finding it a male and help it mate. I hoped I could save the male…this time. I would always get a mantis every year when their season came.

I lay on the bed with a sigh and brought my hand between my legs. It's just another lonely day…

The next day I didn't bother getting up early. I just masturbated the morning away, before finally going out to wash in the river. On my way to the river I almost tripped on a plank of wood. It had some writing on it. It was a grave plaque. I haven't noticed this before. There was a small patch of earth that was not covered in grass. I should have been worried; someone just dug a grave here and buried someone. I doubt it was a killer since they left the details of the victim on the plank. It was not my problem anyway so I dismissed it. I stripped at the edge of the river and got in, just enjoying the cool currents for a moment. Later I spread a sheet on the grass and dried out by sunbathing a little, just enough to dry myself. I didn't want to get a tan. I arrived home and vegetated the day away. In this summer heat I didn't even get hungry.

The day after I decided to go to the Hidden Valleys Village to make some groceries and also eat out. It was the closest village to the Akatsuki lair. On my way back from there it was pretty dark out. I don't know what caused it, but a bunch of crows that were resting on different trees flew away, startling me a little. I was getting paranoid. Not really afraid, but what caused the crows to react that way?

The next day I tried cooking at home. After I ate, in the afternoon I was in the mood to finish some of my songs. It was silent and all of the sudden there was a loud thud in the room. I immediately looked at the door. _He came_. I jumped from the bed and immediately opened the door only to see that there was no one there. I peaked outside and only the crickets could be heard. I closed the door and turned around and saw that one of the paintings of Gaara has fallen down on the floor. So that was what made the thud…I picked the painting up and examined it. I looked at the nail in the wall. It was firmly placed. How did it fall? It was no wind in the room.

Then I heard glass break. I was startled a little. I looked at the photo frame on the nightstand; it was broken by an unknown force. It couldn't have been my vectors. I would have felt them. My heart was becoming heavy and I was beginning to feel lightheaded. I had to sit down.

The grave two days ago, the crows yesterday, the fallen portrait now…Something bad was going to happen soon, the universe was informing me something s bad was about to happen. Then I remembered Kakuzu's words _. Tomorrow go home and don't come back for a week_. He was hiding something from me; something important. I hurriedly put on my cloak and more like speed walked to the lair. I was sick to my stomach.

 _Just forget about him. You'll just get hurt. Forget him._

You idiot. What did you mean by that? I felt tears. It was about Gaara, wasn't it? What were they keeping from me? Was this the sad look of his eyes expressing. He didn't want to take Gaara's place. He didn't want me to get hurt after I knew. God damn it!

I reached the lair finally but there was a barrier at the entrance. No fucking way was this stopping me. Using all of my vectors and strength I ruptured through the genjutsu and the stone wall making my presence known. After the dust cleared out I saw a large blue glowing orb floating in the center of the cave. As I made a step forward I was stopped by a known voice.

"You were told to not come for a week." I heard Kakuzu say. I still tried to figure out the situation. I looked closer at the orb and there was some red coming out of a person's body. I saw a maroon coat and a lighter colored vest…and auburn hair.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Gaara!" They wanted to take the demon out! That would kill him. I hope I wasn't too late.

I looked around frantically and brought my vectors to the figures that were standing on the fingers of the statue. They were going right through them. So I severed the statue's fingers off. And it worked. The shadow figures disappeared and Gaara was falling down at a rapid pace. I made my vectors grab him carefully before I sprint down the crack I made in the wall. I did not want to meet with them because I needed to check on him. I kept Gaara afloat in front of me. I was shaking all over because I was so scared he could be dead. I hurried up my pace until I was outside, at a considerable distance from the lair. I placed him gently on the ground and placed my head on his chest. And there it was. I covered my mouth in shock as tears were streaming down my face and onto his vest. I tried to calm myself down. Once we were at the cabin I could fully look at him better. All that mattered now was that he was alive. I picked him right up with my vectors and hurried in the forest, silently hoping they wouldn't follow me.

Once I arrived at the cabin I laid him gently on my bed and placed my head on his chest to see if his heart was still beating. I sighed in relief as his heart was beating strongly. I caressed his cheek and he was becoming warm again. I took in a moment to examine his face. He was more beautiful than ever before; manlier. _I wanted to lick his face._ I smiled, finally feeling like I was alive again after two years and a half. I kissed his forehead and eyes and nose and rested my face on the crook of this neck. You could still feel his scent over the smell of sweat.

He was dirty so I decided to wash him up. I began unbuckling his vest, and then unzipped his coat to reveal a fishnet. His chest was more toned and his shoulders were wider _. What a fine man he turned out to become…I was already…_ I shook my head. There was no time for this. I took the fishnet off as well and I was surprised it revealed a scar on the top of his left shoulder. Then I realized it was the exact same place Uchiha hurt him. I then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants to reveal his black boxers. I took those off too and gasped. He's gotten bigger. I felt my cheeks redden.

I placed a towel over his lower region to make it less distracting. I had to take a moment to register everything before beginning to clean him up. There he was…Gaara was lying on my bed. Kakuzu was right…he needed me after all. Even though this was mostly his fault…but still he was following orders…

What mattered now was that Gaara was safe. He was alive. I couldn't contain my happiness. I grasped his hand and brought it to my lips and I kneeled in front of the bed. "Thank you." I said to no one in particular. It was just that…the world remains beautiful. I placed his hand on my cheek and kept it there for a moment. Before releasing it I kissed it once.

I had to go and get some water from the river. I did so very quickly, warmed the water and began washing his body lightly using a clean cloth. Once I was done I raised him up using my vectors and dressed him in a loose black kimono. He looked so peaceful I checked his pulse again. He was alive. Alive and well. I giggled and kissed his cheek. It was late and I was pretty tired. It was so tempting to just cuddle up in his chest and sleep…he looked so inviting…But what if he would wake up and see me? How would he react? Would he tell me he will leave? I would be crushed.

 _Alright Hitomi, one step at a time_. I took a few covers from my drawer and placed them on the ground next to the bed. I closed the lights and lay on the floor. The moon was highlighting his beautiful features and also the fact that he was breathing steadily.

"Goodnight my love."

I was woken up early by the birds that were chirping, but also by anxiety. I didn't know what Gaara had in mind once he woke up…

I jumped up from the floor and looked at the bed. He was still there. I wondered how much he was going to stay outcold…

I decided to just go wash up as I was in no mood to last night. I was too giddy with happiness. I was quick and dried with a towel. When I got back he was still sleeping. I decided to go out of the cabin because his presence was beginning to be overwhelming. As I got out, a deer made its way near the cabin. It approached me slowly. It was so close I could practically touch it. And I did. What a friendly deer. I smiled. I was overwhelmed by the need to sing just now.

 _Sakura no hana wa itsu hiraku_  
(Why do lovely flowers bloom from the cherry tree?)

 _Yama no osato ni itsu hiraku_  
(Seven children, wake and smile at the sun)

 _Sakura no hana wa itsu niou_  
(Why do fragrant blossoms stir in the mountain air?)

 _Warau nana no ko asubu koto  
_ (Seven laughing children run to the woods)

I continued to sing as I heard a few distressed chirps and was distraught from the deer. Under the nearby tree there was a chick that has fallen from its nest. I reached out for it and grabbed it, bringing it to my chest, then used the vectors to try and-

"Don't." I froze and looked back. My eyes widened.

"Gaara…"

 **..  
.**

 **So this is the first chapter of the second book of "So you enjoy killing". I was glad to see so many of you wanting a second part; even though I wrote in the last chapter I would continue the story. I am sorry the chapter is so long, it has 26 pages in word; the next chapter will be much shorter – 10 pages of word. This whole book will have ten chapters at most.**

 **The last part of the chapter reminds me of Hitomi being sort of like a Disney princess with Tim Burton tendencies. Also the song she sings is from Hell Girl. I intended for her to be delicate and sweet but also scary looking.**

 **The reason this chapter is so large is because I tried to make their reunion possible in it, and also there aren't many events that happen while they are away from each other, after all this story is all about them. I just wanted to clarify what they were feeling. I also tried to make some events/ to improvise but I do not know how much I succeeded with that. And yes, I know I turned Gaara into a fuck boy. I read too much in his star sign and was surprised to see that he would have this inclination, especially since he is in a cusp. But I promise once he is with Hitomi again he will stop. He has no obligation right now. I also feel the need to say that this doujinshi: Shojo Gehageha by Inoue Yuki – I highly recommend it - made me believe that Kakuzu would be really nice and sweet to women.**

 **I hope I did not repeat myself too much, I'm sorry if I did and I hope I wrote in a pleasing manner. I really hope I did not disappoint. I wrote and rewrote this chapter many times…And another reminder this story is mainly a way for me to live out my fantasies. If there are too many lemons then this is not a story for you.**

 **Reviews help me write faster, just so you know. (winky face)**


	2. Chapter 2

_**I'm with you Chapter 2**_

 _Gaara's POV_

I regained consciousness in a panicked state. I was breathing heavily trying to calm down my panicked heart. I looked around and it seemed I was in a small cabin. On the nightstand there was a glass of water and a water bottle. I took the glass of water and drank it greedily, then the bottle, consuming almost half of its contents. I finally calmed down a little and tried to recall the moments before ending up here.

I was fighting the Akatsuki…I lost…

Then I remember pain…

Then calmness…

Now I am here. I was dressed in a black kimono. Where are my clothes?

 _Sakura no hana wa itsu hiraku_

I heard an angelic voice sing. Was this heaven? Did a person like me deserve to go to heaven?

 _Yama no osato ni itsu hiraku_

There it was again. I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to sit up and managed steadily to accomplish that.

 _Sakura no hana wa itsu niou_

I walked slowly to the open door. I was met with the brightness of the sun, the sound of the river, the green grass under my feet…

 _Warau nana no ko asubu koto_

I looked at the source of the singing. I gasped. I didn't know if I should run away unnoticed or go back in the cabin and pretend I was asleep. Destiny chose for me. It was none of those. _She_ was petting a deer and then she was distracted by something in the nearby tree. She went over and picked up a baby bird. She was going to…I just opened my mouth…My doubt in her; her instability brought me to reveal my presence.

 _Sakura no hana wa itsu odoru_

Was her last line before I opened my mouth; and I regret it. "Don't."

 _Hitomi's POV_

I continued to sing as I heard a few distressed chirps and was distraught from the deer. Under the nearby tree there was a chick that has fallen from its nest. I reached out for it and grabbed it, bringing it to my chest, then used the vectors to try and-

"Don't." I froze and looked back. My eyes widened.

"Gaara…"

 _Gaara's POV_

My heart skipped a beat when she said my name. She was so…beautiful was not good enough of a word. She looked like a princess. Her hair was so long it reached her ankles. Her expression looked so pure; a slight rejection would break her beyond repair. She also looked a little tired and skinny. I tried to compose myself, not to let her know how much her presence was affecting me. I wanted to go to her, pick her up and bring her in the cabin where I would proceed to do show her how much I missed her. But I just couldn't. Would she even let me at this point? She was one of the Akatsuki. She chose them. I must no longer associate myself with people like her. She is my enemy. She knew right, that her team would abduct me and kill me, right? Yet here she was, pretending like noting happened…

 _Hitomi's POV_

I was frozen in place. And so was he. My mind was blank. I wished I could stop time in this very moment. I haven't seen him in such a long time and he has changed so much...He was taller, his hair was longer, his shoulders broad…he was becoming a man. I tried to figure what he was feeling. His eyes were easy for me to read, or so I thought. He looked blankly at me, as if I was boring him. That, or he hid what he was feeling very well. He did not want to be here. Either way, it hurt. For the first time in a while my heart jolted in pain. At least I knew I still had one.

"Don't kill it." I heard him say making me lose my train of thoughts. Then I remembered the baby bird I was still holding with the vectors. I didn't know if I should try using my voice right now. I felt weak in the knees, I felt nauseous. I felt the same way I did two years and a half ago. I put the chick in its nest and turned to him.

"I wasn't…going to kill it." He displayed no emotion on his face. I wondered what he was really feeling. What should I say? I don't want to make him leave. We both continued to look at each other for a while. The tension was killing me. I had to say something. "How are you feeling?"

He just glared at me before breaking eye contact. He continued looking angry. I just asked him a question…He _hated_ me. He wasn't ever going to come looking for me. I tried to push these hurtful thoughts away. Our situation was complicated. He must know by now that I was hanging out with the Akatsuki. Of course he would be angry. He thought I was the enemy. I had to prove him otherwise. But before I could say anything else he took steps in the direction opposed to me. "Please…" My voice was already cracking and it made him freeze right in his tracks. "Please…Stay a little longer…I beg you…" I fell to my knees.

He glanced at me. "My village needs me." My heart was crushed. I nodded solemnly. He was going to leave. I couldn't let him.

"Going in the desert with no food or water is not a wise choice." He now turned fully towards me looking conflicted. "I can give you food and water…" He looked at me as if he did not trust me. I did not know how much abuse my heart was willing to take. "What other choice do you have?"

He then smirked, as if he solved his problem without needing my help. "Judging by the climate here I am close to the Leaf, and since we are allied I could request help." I felt angry as I heard that. I wasn't going to let him leave. But…I couldn't stop him either. I felt like my world was crashing down again. There was no way for me to win this, was there?

He was coming towards me, cautiously, as if I would hurt him. I couldn't even look at him anymore. My heart felt like it would grow hands and claw me from the inside, ready to escape. I placed my hands on my face and sat on the ground and began crying soundly. I wasn't alright. I wanted to disappear. I heard him walk behind me and that's when my sadness turned to anger again. I turned around still on the ground.

"Why do you hate me so much?!" I slowly got up. "What did I ever do to you to hate me so much?!" I was yelling with raw emotion: hurt, anger, longing and a glint of hate.

To my surprise he turned around and looked equally pissed off. "Your people abducted me! You're my enemy! Why should I even consider trusting you?!"

"Because you know me! I am the same person I was years ago! You don't even know everything!" We took a moment to calm down. We were both screaming at each other like mad men. "You left me here…I was just trying to survive…" My voice cracked and all my anger left me as I remembered that day. "I think…I was punished enough for the sins I made…"

"You hypocrite…" I glanced at him and he still looked angry. "Do you even remember what you promised me years back? I can't even look at you."

I didn't know what he was referring to. "I promised you a lot of things. What are you referring to exactly? You know what, it doesn't even matter, **because you broke your word first**!" I spat with venom.

He glared at me and opened his mouth ready to yell at me some more but before he could say anything else he got pale and collapsed.

"Gaara!" I felt tears. This was my entire fault. I rushed to his side and checked on his vitals. He was alive but he had been unfed and tired. He wouldn't have made it to the Leaf. I lifted him up using the vectors and brought him inside. I placed him gently on the bed and took a seat next to him. I figured I should begin making something fresh for him to eat once he wakes up. I would glance at him every now and then whenever he would shift in his sleep or groan. Once the food was done I placed it on the table. I quickly went out to get some fresh water from the river and placed it on the table before taking a seat in the chair next to his bed…and waited.

I was about to doze off when he shifted awake. He looked dizzy still and then looked around. For a moment he looked glad to see me but as he realized who I was he jolted up on the bed and was about to get up but I pushed him down. "You're not well, Gaara…Just please relax a little." He glared at me but seemed like he listened. I got up from my chair and took the bowl of soup to bring it to his bed. "I made you food." He looked skeptically at me. I brought a spoonful to his face but he pushed it away. "You're acting like a spoiled brat!" I yelled at him. "You aren't getting anywhere near your stupid village if you won't eat anything!" He glared still but did not say anything. I tasted the soup in front of him to confirm his suspicions. "It wasn't tampered with, alright?" The next thing I knew, he grabbed the soup from my hands and began eating greedily. He was so…cute. "Slow down, you'll…choke…" He ate it in record time. I got up and got the second meal and handed it to him but he wouldn't take it. "I don't really like tongue, so…" He glared at me. I sighed and took a bite. He grabbed the plate from my hands and began eating. Halfway through the meal he began looking like he almost had enough but continued to eat all of it. He was done eating and things got awkward fast. I did not know what to say to him. I looked at him and he looked like he was deep in thought. I took the dishes and placed them in the sink before turning towards him. "How are you feeling, Gaara?" He risked a glance at me. He looked calm.

"Why did…you feed me?"

Was he analyzing the situation? Did he realize he acted in the wrong way? I walked next to him and sat down on the chair. "You could also ask why you woke up in bed instead of being dead, because that is what you would have been if I didn't get you out." I said as I felt tears but tried to push them back.

"What are you talking about?"

"They wanted the Shukaku…they only took a part of him. Can you still feel him?"

He was silent for a moment before shaking his head. "He's almost faint."

I nodded. "Good. That's good."

"But why this? Why did you do this?"

"You're saying that like you don't know me anymore…just shut up."

"Answer me so that I can understand you, damn it!"

I looked at him, not really knowing what to say. I looked at the counter and looked at the photo that stood there. I smiled and picked it up, looking over it for a while before handing it to him. "Do you remember that day?" He did not say anything, just looked at the photo over and over again. "I placed it near my bed and find myself reliving it daily in my head. And then I wake up. The room has no color, the food has no taste, and breathing is a chore…" My emotions were overwhelming me. "I j-just…" My voice was cracking. "I…I miss the old days…"

He snickered. "You miss killing? Is that what you miss?!"

I twitched and shook my head. "I miss some _one_ …"

"Bullshit."

I looked at him confused. Where were these responses coming from? "What did you mean in the forest? What promise did I break?"

"You found another when you said you would never!"

Another? What the fuck was he saying? "What the fuck are you saying?"

"You're fucking another man!" He said with such anger and hate it almost made me cry.

"Why the fuck would that even bother you? You're the one _**who abandoned me**_!" I spit back with more hate.

He then displayed this vacant expression on his face. "So it's true then."

I lost all self control and slapped him. It was so incredibly fast the sand had no time to react. "You don't know what I had to endure to be where I am right now! You have no right to make these presumptions about me after you abandoned me in the middle of nowhere. I was starved and dehydrated by the time they found me where they did. They took care of me, they were my family for two years and a half and I stabbed them in the back for _**you**_! What the _**fuck**_ could that possibly mean?!"

I was so angry I could hardly control my breathing. Yet I did not use my vectors. Who is in control now? I could always control myself. I was so angry at him. I glanced at him but he had his face turned away. Before I could yell some more a small droplet fell from his cheek. I began feeling a mixture of emotions: I fist felt sad, then guilty and then I was overwhelmed by the need to touch him, to embrace him. But I couldn't do that. He needed space.

"I'll give you a moment." I said and left the cabin, closing the door slowly.

I leaned against the door and sighed. This was not how I expected our reunion to be. I hoped he wouldn't hate me. I hoped he had second thoughts about leaving me. Right now…why is he crying? Could he possibly feel guilt? Why would he be bothered if I was indeed with another man? He always told me he did not care. I had so many questions I needed to ask him but knew that I must not. I did not know how he might react. I did not want to push him further away from me. I felt hopeless. How was I going to face him now? What was I supposed to say? I just…I missed him so much…I just wanted to go in there and succumb to my lust in order to forget, or to imagine that this two and a half year gap was just in my imagination. But I just couldn't…also I don't think he would want to.

I felt like I needed to go for a walk and clear up my head but did not want to leave him alone. I got up and decided to go in. He sat on the bed leaning on his elbows and looking deep in thought. I sat on the chair next to the bed and he glanced at me before looking down again.

I had to say something. "I'm sorry I slapped you."

"No." He shook his head. "You were right. Back then…I did not handle the situation how I was supposed to." He looked at me with a hopeful expression. "Will you come back to the Sand?"

I was dumbfounded. There was an explosion of feelings happening inside me. I did not know what to say. I was so happy I felt tears coming. I looked at him and nodded. "I want home." I said that like I was a homesick child. I missed Suna, but not its people; people that hated Gaara. "Are you sure it's alright?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Because I now realize that I was in no place to just leave you there. I could have locked you up and check your instability and slowly integrate you into society."

"So…I get it that is what is going to happen when I step into Suna."

He nodded. "You will be under my supervision constantly."

I smiled at him. "I wouldn't mind that…" He just looked at me for a moment. "I missed you, Gaara." I said.

He then broke eye contact and shook his head. "I don't know why I can't believe you."

"Gaara look around you." He did and saw the paintings on the wall. "Not a day did I not think about you. You were the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about as I fell asleep. Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because I saw you with _him_ …"

"Who? Describe him to me."

"Tan, long hair, tall…"

"Do you even want to know why I hung out with that guy?" He shrugged. "His eyes reminded me of you. He and I have nothing together. He is just my teammate. I never slept with anybody in all this time. I just waited for you. But you didn't want me. If it wasn't for this incident I wouldn't have seen you ever again." He scoffed and kind of refused to look at me.

I was getting angry again. I quickly took his hand in mine and pulled him off the bed and out of the cabin. I closed the door to show him the sign that has been waiting for him this whole time. "I stayed here, in the exact place you left me, waiting for you." He looked at the sign, and then he glanced at me. "I swear to you, Gaara. In all these years you were the only one that has been plaguing my thoughts." When he did not say anything I took that as rejection and my eyes began stinging with tears. "P-Please…believe me."

He turned towards me, still looking in my eyes. It was as if he was trying so hard to peek into my memories, to see with his own eyes that I was being truthful to him. I wanted to badly to touch him, to feel his warmth, but I only got that icy stare. He then raised his hand to my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. I leaned into his touch as if it could heal all my emotional pain and it seemed to be working. A sense of tranquility washed over me. I closed my eyes in delight, and that is when he kissed me. I allowed it at first, but as I felt him trap me against the door of the cabin, as I felt his hands on my hips and breasts, as I felt his member harden against my crotch, I pushed him away gently.

I immediately glanced at him and noticed his expression. It was like the first time I rejected his advances. He looked hurt. "I want you, I really do, but you can't just barge into my life again and act as if nothing happened."

He snickered. "I thought you were my toy."

I looked at him for a moment. "That is no longer my desire. I want… _more_."

"What do you mean more?"

"I…want to be equal to you. I will no longer let you treat me like an object." He was silent, probably not knowing what to say. "This time, I really want you to trust me, I want to be friends, and we will see where that will take us."

"You speak like you forget what I am."

"I know that you changed. You're no longer aggressive. The old you would have caught me in his sand the first chance he got. And now with the Shukaku almost absent you will be able to be in more control. So…let's just let time decide."

"Hn." He glanced at me. "But have you changed?"

"I think I'm honestly the same."

"If you want to come back home you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Do not take this lightly, because if you break this rule I will be forced to make you leave." I felt uneasy as he said that. "And I really don't…want you to leave." My heart throbbed. "Do not kill. Ever. Only if I am in any danger, you can. But you can't when someone says something bad about me. Understand?"

I nodded. "I understand." I smiled at him. "So how are things in Suna now? How are Temari and Kankuro?"

"Well I became Kazekage and I'm trying to-"

"Oh God! And you're telling me now?" I said maybe a little too enthusiastically. He looked kind of shocked. "That's really good for you! I'm so proud!" I said and before I could help myself I embraced him tightly to my chest. I then realized what I was doing and pulled away only to have him pull me back in his arms.

"Stay. Please." He said as he was caressing my back and holding his head on my shoulder. He sniffed my hair and snuggled closer in it. This brought me back. I let him hold him for as long as he wanted. I realized he also missed me in his own way, maybe he did not even realize it. He still had hardship with what he was feeling. I had to go easy on him. He hurt me but I can't blame him much for it. Now as Kazekage he is trying to keep his village safe. Allowing me to come home means a lot for him as I could be a blessing and a curse. I want to believe that he misses me, and that he wants me back the same way I do.

He finally released me and I took a step back smiling at him in the process. "Congratulations." I said.

"Thank you." He nodded shortly.

"So are people more accepting of you now?"

He nodded. "The majority are."

"But…not all of them."

He shook his head. "Not anyone can like you…but it is better."

"I'm so glad…It will be more bearable to come home then. I am sorry I said your village is stupid. I was just mad you know…all this time they were against you for no reason at all. And...you chose them over me. That…hurt me…because I was always there."

He couldn't look at me. "I am not proud of what I did. I want to make you see that I am different. I won't make the same mistake again."

I giggled. "And even if you did I am certain I would forgive you, Gaara." He then looked at me. He was unreadable.

"Let's go home."

I nodded. "Let's go home, Gaara."

He gave me a small smile and nodded.

"Let me just pack a few things and we will be on our way." I sprinted in the cabin and pulled a duffel bag from under the bed. I took some food for the road for the both of us, all my essentials, some nice clothes I had and emotional stuff. I placed the bag over my shoulder. I looked over at the insect on my nightstand. Could I raise her in the desert? I sighed. I had to release her. I took her and placed her on my shoulder. With a final glance at the Akatsuki cloak hanging on my chair, I closed the door. I was leaving my past behind. I was going back home with Gaara.

I glanced at him and he gestured to me to give him my bag. I shook my head and used a vector to carry it. He smiled gently as he looked at me. My loins…I noticed his attention was caught by the small creature on my shoulder. "I was just…going to set her free…" I was kind of sad. "Praying mantises have kept me company for all these years. I always cry when they die." I held her in my hands, admiring her beautiful colors one last time.

Gaara didn't look like he knew what to say, how to comfort me. "Um…" He tried. "We could take it with us if you like."

I looked at him and smiled. "I would, but she wouldn't survive in that climate…"

He almost looked sad. I was maybe imagining it. I walked a few steps to where the grass was bigger and let her go. She then looked at me as if she knew this was goodbye. These are such intelligent beings…"Take care, you…And don't eat the little guy's head, alright?" I gave her a small sad smile. I got up and walked next to Gaara. We began walking together, towards our home.

Shortly after walking a little I glanced at Gaara for a second and found him looking at me too. He sketched a look of surprise and turned his head slightly in the opposite direction. Was he…checking me out? I wanted to believe that so bad, but he wasn't, was he? I figured I should say something to ease up the tension.

"So, uh, you never told me about your siblings. How are they? Do you get along?"

He glanced at me. "Yes, we get along quite well right now actually. And they are alright."

"Then they must miss and worry about you so much." I looked at him for a while. "I…am glad I was there just in time."

He gave me a small smile and nodded. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

During our journey to Suna I noticed Gaara looking at me several times, but other than that, nothing special happened, until we reached the oasis from years back. We decided to take a bath since we both felt quite sticky and he let me go first. I was secretly hoping he would watch me. He promised me he would look the other way the whole time. I stripped naked and tried the water at first and it was quite warm since it still was day out. I enjoyed the water for a bit before moving on to scrubbing my skin lightly. It felt so refreshing. I was admiring the desert and my surroundings. I was so, so happy. Then, with the corner of my eye I saw something in the sky. I _knew_ what that was. So my wish came true…My hair was covering my breasts, but I gave him a little hand, but also made sure he knew I saw him as I waved at him in a flirting manner.

The eye crumbled away and I decided to end my bath. I was fortunate enough to bring some towels along. I grabbed two, using one to purposefully tie it around my waist in a loose manner. I walked towards him and he was still pretending to play the innocent card. I threw him the towel letting him know I was done. "Did you enjoy the show?" I smirked.

"I'm sorry I was peeking. I apologize."

"It's alright, really, I-" I then felt my towel fall down my body. "Woops." I pretended to be surprised as the towel hit the ground. I let him see me from a closer angle. I watched his face as it got redder and redder by the second. For a while he did not say anything. A moment later he got up together with my towel and wrapped it around me, refusing to meet my gaze.

"Why are you teasing me?" He muttered.

"I don't know, it is fun…and it is you that's watching me so…it doesn't feel wrong, or bad." He then got in my space, looking me right in the eyes.

"Then why won't you let me have you?"

"Looking and touching are different…please understand?" He backed up a bit.

"Hn." He just took his towel and left to go wash.

I adored this…safe feeling I got when I was near him. He always joked about rape in the past, but he never actually did it. And right now he saw me naked and made no move to cause me displeasure. He listened to me. So he really does want me, but probably just my body. I wanted _more_. _So_ much more.

I then glanced at the oasis. He was slowly getting naked and I watched the whole thing. It was my right after he watched me, right? He got in the water but never turned around, like he knew I was watching. The view I saw getting wasn't bad, though…Compared to years back, his ass had developed nicely. His back was bigger, shoulders wider. It really was a sight for sore eyes. Beautiful.

I was in a bit of a daze as I looked at him. I eventually had enough and continued drying my body before getting dressed. I gave him his privacy and waited for him to finish so that we could be on our way. One day later we reached the Sand.

We both were tired and a little dehydrated but other than that we were fine. I saw sand again and couldn't help myself from taking off my sandals and stepping on it. It was morning so it wasn't scorching at all; it was pleasing. I was home, where I belonged.

I was kind of fearful to enter the village. I didn't want Gaara to be judged for bringing me back. He noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just…I'm afraid that people will think badly of you if you bring me back. If that'll be the case you can tell me to-"

"Hitomi." He shut me up. "You saved me. There is no way I am telling you to leave, whatever they say."

I nodded. I still felt uneasy. "But what if-"

I felt him grab my shoulders and look at me with a serious expression. "I _won't_ let you leave again. Do you understand?"

The way he looked at me made my heart swell. He looked like he _really_ meant it. I've never seen him so determined. "I do understand, but I just don't want all of your effort to go to waste. You're Kazekage-"

"That has nothing to do with anything."

"I see." I smiled gently and sighed.

He took my hand in his. "Let's go. We've been gone long enough; especially you. Help me take care of the village. Will you, Hitomi?" He squeezed my hand.

I gasped. Then I looked at his face; his eyes. "I can try." I smiled at him and felt like crying. We were always meant to collaborate. Now we were partners for something positive. Deep down I guess I wanted this kind of life for him. "But can you promise me something too?"

"Speak."

"Teach me to see the world like you do. Teach me to forgive."

He smiled up at me. "I will be happy to."

I smiled and nodded in thanks. We slowly walked towards the main gate where there were two shinobi guarding, and then there were four, then seven. As we approached more and more shinobi showed up, and then a lot of civilians and they were all cheering for him. I was overwhelmed and held his hand tighter. "This is more like it…" I whispered to him. I let go of his hand and pushed him gently forward. He held a questioning look. "Go. This is your moment. I'll be right behind you."

He nodded hesitantly before proceeding to greet the welcoming crowd. I looked in awe at him as the crowd finally reached him and looked at him like he deserved to be looked at. He was appreciated, respected and I could even say loved by his people. They were making a pathway for him, welcoming him home.

 _Those eyes…_

My head snapped to the voice that said those words. It was a small child. My glare softened and instead smiled at the little kid. He hid behind his parent, which took notice of the behavior of his child and noticed me. His face paled and took a step back not saying anything. I felt a stab in my heart at that. I shouldn't care but for some reason I do.

 _It's her…_

 _She's back?_

I heard more and more voices around me, making me feel unwelcomed as always. I shook my head trying to control myself.

 _It's definitely her…_

 _ **He**_ _brought her back?_

Again…they were involving him-

"Hitomi." His voice brought me back to reality. "Hitomi come here." He extended his hand towards me urging me to take it. I did so hesitantly. The voices were momentarily silent. He pushed me forward and began speaking. "I am sure a lot of you know this woman. I can read it in your stares." The crowd was silent and he continued. "But never forget that she was a villager here. She is one of us and I vow for her when I say that she is no longer like she was in the past, for if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here now. I want you to forget her sins like you forgot about mine. Please do not be afraid of her and show her hospitality."

I looked around and people were still silent. My heart was hurting. They weren't going to accept me. I was about to release myself from his grasp but then I heard clapping coming from the gates. I gasped. I covered my mouth in shock and began crying, not being able to control myself. Temari and Kankuro were making their way towards us clapping strongly and were hesitantly followed by the villagers. When they were at close distance I took them both in my arms like I have known them all my life. I didn't even greet Gaara like this, but our situation was different.

They were also surprised with my affection. "I _really_ missed you guys." I let them go. "Even you." I said looking at Kankuro. I was wiping away my tears when Gaara pulled me at his side.

"Shall we?" He said.

I smiled and nodded. "I'm home."

It was a certain warmness on Gaara's face that made me blush. He caressed my back and nodded. "It's good to have you home."

I couldn't help myself and I leaned up and kissed his cheek shortly before walking forward to the village. I looked back and saw the siblings greet Gaara with a long hug. I was taken aback but nonetheless smiled and waited for them.

It felt good to be back.


End file.
